This just happens to be my very first blog, and I’m extremely excited about this new venture! I thought about so many ideas for my kick off blog, but I thought I would start things out by telling you a little bit about myself, my family, and my life.
I am a displaced “Okie”, (from Okc, Oklahoma) now living in the beautiful state of Alabama. I do miss Oklahoma sometimes, (mostly in the summer, when I’m suffocating from the “thick as pudding” humidity) however, nothing is prettier than a fall in Alabama. The changing of the colors is amazing, the lakes, mountains, and let’s not forget my favorite thing of all, the breathtaking beaches! That is definitely my happy place!
Like I said before I grew up in the windy state of Oklahoma. I had a pretty normal childhood, with a stay at home mom, a dad that traveled with his job all the time, (he was the president of a bank) and a little brother. There was only one thing different with my “normal” family. To the public eye, we were always presented as perfect. The bar was always very high in our home. My father expected exellence in all areas of our lives. He was very strict, ruling with an iron fist. My mother was your typical “Donna Reed”. The house was always spotless; not a speck of dust anywhere, and dinner was on the table at 5:00 pm. (Don’t be late)
Now, this seems ok, maybe normal to some, possibly even perfect to others, except that when something went wrong, or “life” just happened, it was really a lonely, quiet, house to live in. We didn’t discuss problems, or anything uncomfortable, because that would make us less than perfect. Problems were swept under the rug, so to speak. I adapted accordingly, and kept everything to myself, thought for myself, and made my own decisions and mistakes as well.
I graduated high school, and actually ended up getting a music scholarship to OKC University, in Okc. Oh yeah, I love music! Always have! Almost every kind, genre, sound, ect…I played piano growing up. (my father wanted me to be well rounded!) I’m a singer as well. Everything I was involved in was music. However, instead of taking the scholarship and going to OkcU, I thought it would be a lot more fun to go to a state school, where a lot of my friends were going. I was right! I had an amazing 3 semesters until my dad decided he was not going to pay for me to go to college to party! Oops! So I was made to come home, and go to a school closer to home, which was Central Oklahoma state.
Now, this is where I met a guy that seemed fun in the beginning, but there was just something about him that was different from all the guys I had dated. He was kind of a bad boy type. That soon turned out to be a total nightmare! We dated for a while, and he was very manipulitive, and for some reason could talk me into anything. So it wasn’t long, and we were married. Things went downhill from there. He was very jealous. He was very demanding. But the worst was yet to come.
I went out one day and got a puppy. I brought it home, and we were going out for the evening, so I just left it there in the apartment. When we returned the puppy had chewed off the foam covering on the front of my husband’s speakers. He was furious! He started yelling and picked up the dog and threw it up against the wall. I screamed! The puppy let out this big yelp and then wasn’t moving. I thought for sure he had killed my little puppy. I knew I had to get rid of the little dog because he wasn’t safe there. That day was the start of the violence.
There was more of the violence, some days worse than others. There were affairs. He threw me across the room and my head hit a cedar chest, with blood literally spraying out of my head. I had to have 7 stitches and I had a concussion and couldn’t drive for 8 weeks. And yet still, the worst was yet to come.
After many threats, to kill me and destroy me financially, which he Came very close to doing, I was finally able to get out of that nightmare of a marriage. One morning, I received a phone call from him telling me he wanted to come get his final things out of the house. I told that was fine, but to be quick because I had a lot to do. I really just wanted it to be over. Well he came over, and got busy right away, so I left him to it. But when I walked back into the room, he was standing there with a gun pointed right at me. I froze. Then, it was like my whole body went numb. I couldn’t feel anything. I asked him not to do this, and to think about the kids, as well as he would go to jail. He wasn’t listening to anything I had to say. This went on for hours. I was thankful that the kids were in school. Finally, a friend of his (that actually was also a minster) called and caught on that something wasn’t right. He came to the house and talked to him for a while, which ended with him getting the gun from him. His friend told him that he had someone that he should talk to. As they were leaving the house, I just shrunk down in the floor and started thinking about that whole day, and everything I had been through. I was exhausted. I wanted to just quit, give up, but I was a mother, and I had to keep fighting.
After about 8 months of being single and just working and coming home, my friends were bugging like crazy to go out and be social again. Not something I was really all that excited about. They did however, wear me down, so there were a few girls nights. And then, a few fix me up dates, that always seemed to end with finding something that I really didn’t like about the guy. (even if it was petty)
One night, a girlfriend of mine called me and said, “I’m bored. Let’s go get some pizza.” We ended up at this pizza place I hadn’t been to yet and there was a live band playing. When we walked in, the lead guitarist was coming off stage. He had this long curly hair, all sweaty with a do rag on. He was wearing a black rock t-shirt, with jeans and boots. My friend started talking to him, and I’m just standing there like a dork, just smiling. He was looking at me and just smiling like, are you going to talk? So I just threw my hand up and said, hi! Ugh! I’m such a dork! Oh well, anyway, he came to our table during his breaks and we started talking, texting, and eventually going out.
Now, I will tell you ladies, from someone who had a rough start coming out of the gate, I am now married to that very sexy, rocker guy! He is truly my soul mate, in every since of the word. I am back into my music again. Singing again, with him! He is the best thing that has ever happened to me!
You have now somewhat of a grasp of who I am, and basically what I’ve been through. I wanted to tell this story because I don’t want what happened to me to happen to another woman ever! Please! If you, or anyone you know is being harmed, hurt, abused, please tell someone. There is always something you can do. There are hotlines you can call anonymously. Just please get help, because you could be saving a life!